My Teenage Drama Queen?

Can you get to grips with it, my little one? You are now a teenager !! It is a life changing event, or so we are conditioned to believe. Stories of teenage angst fill our television screens. All the drama of the seven years in between twelve and twenty makes us believe that these are life changing times. Maybe, maybe, that is true. Maybe, it is your turn to be the teenage drama queen....

I remember the day in hospital when you were a new-born, our first born. The joy in our hearts, the buzz of visiting relatives and friends, the happiness of your grandparents, you should have seen that excitement. As your father, I was overwhelmed. I felt great joy but also big responsibility. A responsibility I did not fully understand. You were a day old when Holland was playing Italy in the Euro 2000 semi-final. I was in those days a big supporter of Oranje and I slipped away from the hospital to watch that match. I remember Holland lost the match, but what I recollect much more vividly is your mother's anger at my irresponsibility, abandoning both of you for a little bit of football. How irresponsible....But then you and I know, how much I love watching football. At a time when fathers gave up watching television because kids wanted to watch cartoons, the exact opposite was happening in our home. You gave up cartoons for me to watch my football and sometimes, my Formula 1.  How irresponsible.... but hey, I hope that is not changing just because it your turn for all the drama.

I remember how I was initially scared to carry you as a baby. I was worried I would hurt you. I remember I stopped myself from kissing you, worried I would pass on germs. I felt a thrill in my heart when I was with you unlike anything I had experienced, but I also carried the burden of expectations of a modern day parent. I understood it is important to raise your child well. But the pressures and expecation of training your child to handle the competitive world was irksome. I grappled with that as you grew up. The first thing was about getting an admission in the "right" school. It was then about being enrolled for the additional life skill activities, be it dance, abacus, drama, painting, taekwondo and so on. How can I be sure my little girl wants to do any of that? But, someone told me, if you don't enroll her for those classes, how will she or you ever know what she is good at? Really!! If she was going to spend all her time in those classes, what about her precious time with us I thought. What about the little moments of togetherness that are to be sacrificed in this mad rush for life skills? You will find your destiny, you will find the dream you want to chase. I don't need to find it for you, but I am there to help anytime you need me. And yes, that is not changing just because its your turn for all the drama.

And through these years, as I rushed along madly making my career, I have had to stay away from you,  because of late night deadlines and also because of short and long travels. I have missed you so much on these days. I have realized along the way that my life is not about my career, it is about the ones I love. And for every bad day and equally for the good ones at work, my only inspiration has been to come back home and see your face. Seeing you at the start of the day as I walked you to the school bus, gave me enough reason for the day ahead. Seeing you at the end of the day sleeping as I came back from work, gave me enough peace to forget the worries of the day gone by. You are the light of my life and you can be the same to many others. Remember that and persist through the ups and downs that happen in life. Yes, drama happens, but the role you play is your own choice.

As you have grown into this beautiful teenage girl, I have been learning to be a father. And I have enjoyed every bit of it. So, my teenage drama queen, bring it on!! Ready for the big adventure?  Yes, along the way be sure you don't forget to have fun. Along the way make sure you have the courage to find and chase your dream.  And most importantly, make the choices that will light up the lives of folks around you. In between all this, if there are times when you need someone to lean on, you know where to look. I will be waiting. God bless and Happy Birthday!!

The Unfinished Painting...

An upcoming Bollywood actress, an aspiring star took her own life last week. She considered her life to be a failure. She was just 25. Is this is a reflection of our society, of the times we live in, of the pressures on the new generation? The pressure of winning every time, the need to achieve quickly, the restlessness in the pursuit of glory.  Depression is a disease of our times. The inability to live life at its own pace and on its own terms is killing us. Judging our every day as success or failure, we build a life of worry and restlessness. Comparing ourselves with others and feeling inadequate and beaten, we turn this life into a race to milestones. And as we miss milestones and escalate our worries, we lose our sanity. What is this life about? Is it about becoming someone in the world or is it about just being you? 

Have you heard the story about the two caterpillars who were in a race to reach the top of the tree they lived in? About how they lived their life in the pursuit of that goal, forgetting that their true purpose was something else entirely. Forgetting that their life was about transforming into a beautiful butterfly that was free to fly anywhere. We sometimes lose perspective and live to fulfill our narrow goals. We run the only race we know, forgetting that our purpose is finally being our own true self. It is about finding our own true self in the many images we create for the world outside.

There are times when we are distressed by our current situation, when demons work overtime in our heads, when we wonder what is happening in our lives. Those are the times when we need to keep sane and work through maintaining our perspective. Those are the times to talk to friends , gurus or mentors. Those are the times to come out of hiding and not let the depression suck you into its whirlpool. Once disturbed and disillusioned by the progress I was making in my career,  I talked to a mentor about it. He said something that I remember very clearly. He said " You are a few steps down the road on a long career. You have stopped to look at it midway and feel it is meaningless. It is a bit like looking at a painting midway through the artist's progress. What looks like meaningless strokes, what looks like a mess of colors is actually the beginning of a masterpiece. When you stop and look at your life midway, you are judging an unfinished painting....Let the painting be completed by the forces at work, some of them beyond your control, because that is how it becomes a masterpiece ". Yes, when you feel low and depressed, remember that your life is an unfinished painting...and its too early to judge. 

3 Career Lessons from the Indian Premier League

A message I shared a couple of weeks back with a group of young professionals ! Read on...

Cricket is a big passion in India and like many of you, I have been following the Indian Premier League  or IPL as it is called with great interest over the years. Unfortunately, this year, we have seen a lot of controversy with spot-fixing and corruption allegations in the IPL. Sport is usually associated with fun, but there are important lessons in sport too. Here are 3 career lessons that I learnt from the IPL that can be a guide in our professional lives.

1) Nothing is more important than ethics

We have seen many celebrated cricketers under the scanner for spot-fixing and other allegations of corrupt practices during this IPL season. Some people have thrown away celebrated careers by doing things they should not, things that are not ethical. While nefarious elements thought they could get away with it, in the end the long hand of law dealt them a blow. This episode reinforces the need for ethics, not just in sport, but in our personal lives. Upholding the highest standards of ethics is the foremost quality one seeks of you.

2) It is about performance, not about superstars

Have you seen the emergence of unknown players this IPL season? Be it Sanju Samson in Rajasthan Royals or Hanuma Vihari in Sunrisers Hyderabad, individuals who perform get recognized. They are noticed and it helps their careers. At the sometime, so called superstars who don't perform have to warm the bench. Ricky Ponting who is such a celebrated cricketer sat himself out of the team after a few bad performances so that deserving players who work for the team get a chance. As in sport, it is in our profession too that we can't rest on past laurels. It is not about being a superstar, it is not about big egos. Performance matters and we need to prove ourselves every single day.

3) Diversity is a strength

The balanced teams in this IPL season have done very well. There are some teams that have the hard hitting batsmen but poor bowlers, some others that have the fast bowlers but no good spinners and so on. However, teams that have the right balance and a diverse talent pool is the one that wins. In our professional lives too, remember to celebrate diversity. We should be open to new ideas and diverse thoughts because that makes a difference.

Success comes from right effort. My favourite author, Paulo Coelho defines success in his latest book - he says " What is Success? It is being able to go to bed each night with peace in your soul". Folks, stay the course through its ups and downs, and remember that someone who is ethical, someone who packs in 100% everyday, someone who is open to new ideas......will eventually succeed!