On the turning away

Under the shadow of a loss in the family, life has posed many a question at me this week. The ultimate futility, the ceramic frailty of everything we chase through a lifetime only to leave behind stares at us, while we continue to forget the fleeting nature of this life. We continue with our busy lives chasing the things that satisfy the 'I' in each of us. We build the walls and finery around us somehow hoping they insulate us from the dust and suffering of common human life. We wish away the pain by living in our golden illusion without acknowledging the hollowness in our hearts. We become what we are not, we become insensitive, we become indifferent, we become selfish. We refuse to acknowledge the pain of others, we refuse to acknowledge the pale and the downtrodden. We turn away....

On the turning away

From the pale and downtrodden

And words they say

Which we won't understand

Don't accept that what's happening

Is just a case of other's suffering

Or you will find that you're joining in

The turning away

The questions pour in. To what avail is this meaningless pursuit of selfish happiness? Are we joining in the turning away? While we despair at the indifferent state we are in, we find the encouraging signs that lead us to find some meaning. As we despair at our helplessness in changing the world, we find inspiration in the everyday. The inspiration I found this weekend was in a group of young men and women who are doing their bit to change the world. They are a group of young corporate executives who take the time out on their weekends to help the downtrodden. In today's times, when we don't have time for ourselves, finding time for others, for the service of others is refreshing. These folks help poor children with education in the rural areas. They support an old women's home with more than 100 women abandoned by their families. This started as a small idea when 5 people came together, 5 years back. I witnessed the birth of this idea from afar. Now, I see they have built a movement that is growing from strength to strength, that has many volunteers and many beneficiaries. I have had the privilege of seeing them come together and persevere over the years, single minded in their determination to serve, to make a difference to other's lives. In doing so, they provide meaning to life.

No more turning away 

From the weak and the weary

No more turning away

From the coldness inside

Just a world we all must share

It's not enough just to stand and stare

It is only a dream that there'll be

No more turning away

P.S : Follow this enthusiastic group on www.whyfoundation.org . March on forward, folks!! And thanks to Pink Floyd for their music, for the lyrics "On the Turning Away"

65 years of my life and still...

A sad song of one people divided by our own blindness, by our own short-sightedness....there is someone just like you on the other side, give peace a chance.

Lets talk about us, what's right, who's wrong?

The bitter aftertaste or yesterday's passion

A hollow victory or the blood and toil

Empty accusations echoing off the walls

What's right, who's wrong, lets talk about us

Lets talk about us, what's good, who's bad?

Before we forget yesterday's passion

Lest we stop seeing the blood and toil

Or start believing the empty accusations

What's good, who's bad, lets talk about us

Lets talk about us, what's won, who's lost?

Before all that is left is bitterness

Lest we celebrate a few empty victories

Or stop believing in human goodness

What's won, who's lost, lets talk about us

Lets talk about us, two countries, one people?

The invisible lines that tear us apart

Some dark clouds that blur our vision

Or noise that drowns our cry for peace

Two countries, one people, lets talk about us

Lets talk about us, no one's right or wrong!

We won together, but we lost ourselves

Now see the division, but not our oneness

Feel the pain, but not the human goodness

One people, one people, let's talk about us 

Strange beastly tales from then and now

Then

A five year old child is crying and refusing to go to sleep. The mom gives up and passes the parcel to her mother. The grandmother rocks the child on her lap and starts telling him a story. It is a strange tale of beastly battles. It is a story from a long time ago. The Asuras were mighty and powerful evil lords who fought with the Devas for control over the dominion. The Devas were the sublime and gentle lords with innate goodness. The night the child refused to sleep, the grandmother recounted the strange tale of the Asuras and the Devas. The Asuras and the Devas were always fighting each other to dominate the world, or rather all the worlds. However, due to a strange twist of fate, the Devas lost supremacy and shared control of the world with the Asuras. At this time in history, the Asuras and the Devas discovered the nectar of immortality deep down in the middle of the cosmic ocean. The only way to get it was to join hands and to churn then ocean. So, the Devas and the Asuras made an uneasy pact and they prayed to the Lord to help them churn the ocean. There was no big rope that one could use to churn the mighty ocean. The Lord sent down his confidante, a serpent king named Vasuki. He was a long serpent and agreed to be used as the rope to churn the ocean. The Asuras and the Devas churned the ocean seeking the nectar of immortal life, Amrut. There were many skirmishes in between, but finally the nectar was found. Once the nectar was discovered, the Asuras and Devas fought over it and many more lives were lost fighting over immortality. The little child was fast asleep by the time the nectar was flowing. He dreamt of the glorious battles between the Asuras and the Devas, he believed in the heroics of the good, he was enamored by the fight between good and evil, and by the eventual triumph of good over evil.

Now

A five year old child is crying and refusing to go to sleep. The mom gives up and passes her woes to soothing sights and sounds of the television. It is a strange tale of beastly battles. It is a story from the recent past. The Middle East had just discovered black gold in the seas. The western world was keen to help with technology and expertise to extract the oil riches for mutual benefit. The two powers made an uneasy pact to help churn the oceans for the nectar of prosperity. There were many skirmishes in between, but the oil was found and prosperity reigned. Overpowering greed lead to a fight over the control of the riches. The world fought over it and many more tears were shed fighting over prosperity and happiness. The little child was fast asleep by the time they struck oil in the rigs off the coast. He dreamt of technicolor battles between the good and the bad. His definitions of good and bad shaped by his own side of the world. He was enamored by the fight between good and evil, and he dreamt of the triumph of good over evil.

Forever

The stories are the same forever. The drama is the same, and the dharma is the same, good over evil. The beastly tales will never change, only the players will. Once it was Draupadi being humiliated by the Kauravas in the Mahabharata. Now, it is another Draupadi being molested by the beasts of Guwahati. How can man be so barbaric? Evil lurks in the dark corners of your own mind. The evil is in your beastly impulses. The good is in your sublime control. The battle between good and evil is always fought in your own mind first. The Asuras are the materialistic impulses, the Devas are the sublime signs of moderation, and you are the storyboard....Strange beastly tales forever.

Wow, these God particles......

July 4, 2012 - It is the big day when the proof of the God particle is shared with the world. Scientists at the CERN have close to demonstrable proof of the existence of the God particle as we have come to know it or the Higgs Boson as it prefers to be called. Some trivia I picked up as to why it is called Higgs Boson as opposed to Higgs bottom or Higgs bosom is due to an India connection. Boson it is because Higgs proposed the existence of this particle based on some early particle physics principles laid down by Satendra Nath Bose, and the Bose somehow leads to Boson. 

Now, the idea is not to sound knowledgeable, but neither do I want to exhibit my extreme ignorance of this phenomenon. So, I read up on this God particle. Well, I get it that the Universe came into being as matter was formed, that matter gained mass because of the God particle. I grew up thinking God made man, but somehow thinking the God particle did that is close enough. So, that is easy. Now comes the difficult part. So, you are telling me that electrons, protons and neutrons have mass but photons don't. Why would something as crazy as that happen? Oh, because the quarks and the leptons came together because of some energy field. Must be some energy field like a Beatles concert for everyone to come together, right here...wow, these God particles must be something. Well, anyway, my day goes on with no flashes of extraordinary. It does not have to be extraordinary just because someone found the God particle...

I had enough of the God particle and its mystery, so,  I decide to do something less stressful than think about that. I am in New York on the 4th of July and want to soak in the NYC experience on this American Independence day. So, I say to myself, let me walk down Broadway, the whole length to Times square. I get to further ahead of Lincoln center and start to walk down towards Time Square. As I start to walk, I notice that I am pretty much the only fool on a hot afternoon going down that path. You would expect New York to be crowded so I wonder, I am going the right way? I stop to ask and the unfriendly person I meet, he nods his head curtly. I carry on down the road and as I pass Lincoln theatre and some more, I start seeing other folks all walking down that path too. Not too many but there are people now on this road. Great.... I think we are like quarks and leptons, we move in seemingly aimless ways. And I walk some more before I need a break. I stop by the sidewalk cafe for a Corona and some eats. I watch the people go by and I realize that the foot traffic is picking up. Yes, and they are all going the same direction towards Times square. These people look like floating particles illuminated in the sunshine, like God particles....I laughed off what the Corona was trying to do to me and continued my walk. The traffic grew and I hit this sea of humanity in Times Square. In joy, in celebration, I see milling crowd, I see a mass of humanity as One. I see flashes of extraordinary, I see joy, I see oneness, I see extraordinary. Because I found these people, these God particles. Illuminated in the sunshine, illuminated in joy, these God particles.....wow, these God particles must be something.

A Shahrukh Khan moment?

I was passing through airport security, and the officer said "Sir, can you step aside for some additional screening?". I did as I was told, but in those few seconds, my mind raced through a whole lot of "why me?" conditions. It is not the first time this has happened to me. And so I wondered momentarily, what is it that I have done that auto selects me to the additional screening. Is it my color, is it my nationality, is it my name? I quickly shut that inner whisper temporarily and go through the formalities, it is not half as bad as it sounds and the officers are courteous and professional. But, it does leave you with that niggling thought, why me? I remember the media frenzy some months earlier when Shahrukh Khan was detained by airport security and I guess this is the same thought that went through Shahrukh Khan's mind at that time. Why me? Is it my color? Is it my nationality? Is it my name? And here I was having a Shahrukh Khan moment, well almost.

How much do we all love playing the victim, sometimes the victim of an unjust, irrational system and at other times the victim of our own nationality, color or race. We play this game all the time, some through the media and others through the inner recess of their own mind. Why me? Why not me? And it replays like the much abused breaking news channel, in your mind's emotional TV watched by that Big Fat ego of yours. Really, what joy do we have in playing the victim? It is just our Big Fat ego telling us that we were not treated right. Our Big Fat ego paints a picture of ourselves and how the world should behave with us. The laws of probability apply everywhere,  the world does not always behave the same way with us. And when that happens, we turn on our emotional TV and sulk in front of it. We have our own Shahrukh Khan moment, well almost.

Actually, I was having a pretty good time right before Mr. Big Fat walks into the room and says that is not how one should be treated. Really, Mr. Big Fat, how do you know? After all, we are a series of probability events, right from our birth through every moment in our life. We are a walking talking probability equation, and any thing can happen at any time. We are random samples in a large population, a larger design. We will always be, so Mr. Big Fat, why do you spoil the moment with your false pretenses. You take a big bet on a best case scenario, but remember, there is a probability of occurrence and it can go the other way. When the hypothesis goes the other way, don't sweat, don't rant, just move on to the next table. Move on to the next pack of cards, the next roll of the dice. You ain't no victim, you are just a random sample. No one is taking a potshot at you. No one is mocking you. You are not that important, there are bigger puzzles to solve. And that Shahrukh Khan moment, well no thanks.....not anymore. I walk through security without a sulk. In fact, I thanked them for their professionalism.

Father to Daughter

It is heartening to see children pray, the intensity of their conversation with God is overwhelming. It is especially overwhelming when you ask them what they prayed for and they say that they prayed for the entire family. This is a small thanks to my little girls for all their prayers. For their prayers today on Father's day and on every other day. God bless!!

Every time a tremor shakes my world

and when I feel so weak and troubled

I see you close your eyes in prayer

and then I find strength in your prayer

Every time a big wave hits my shores

and when I feel so shaken and disturbed

I see you fold your palms in prayer

and then I find peace in your prayer 

Every time a storm threatens my haven

and when I feel so lonesome and lost

I see you whisper to God in prayer

and then I find the calm in your prayer

In your prayer for me, I find reason

the reason to carry on down this road

In your prayer for me, I find love

the love to carry me down this road

Little girl, thank you for your prayer

Your father finds his reason

And yes, he finds his purpose

in seeing you pray for him forever

Upbeat

Every time I visit Bangalore, we usually end up doing a family dinner at Upbeat. Upbeat is a small rooftop restaurant where they play some nice music and have a small dance floor to jive. I am not giving you directions to the place, because I like the place the way it is now...lets keep the crowds away. Just kidding, I am sure you can find the place quite easily in today's google world. In any case, I am not here to write a restaurant review but more so to share a little incident from my last visit that is so etched in my memory.

There were many reasons to celebrate that day. My wife's birthday was coming up, there was a wedding anniversary in the family, and we were all together after quite a while in any case.  That was reason enough to celebrate and we ended up going to Upbeat. It was a wet evening and the rains threatened, but the regular crowd was in. The owner of the restaurant in fact joined the conversation at our next table where someone's birthday was being celebrated. The dance floor had the occasional couple go up and swing to the beat. The jukebox said that Buffalo Soldier was living in the heart of America, that he was stolen from Africa....I sang along and my daughters gave me the "We are not impressed, old man" look. But, you get the idea, the whole atmosphere was uplifting.....conversation flitting in and out, laughter from the nearby tables, music from the right decade. Here was a moment when a whole lot of strangers forgot themselves for a while to create a perfect symphony of happy notes. 

Suddenly, I noticed the chatter at my table lowered a bit and all eyes were staring in the same direction, looking beyond me. I turned to see what piqued the interest of my daughters and I saw an old man with a walking support and his equally old wife walking to the dance floor. He gently rested his walking stick by the side, pulled his wife a bit closer, he lifted his left arm to hold her hand and slipped into a slow dance. His wife asked him to stop, she readjusted the "pallu" of her Kanchivarum saree  and tucked it in, went back close to him and they swayed to the lilting music. And then, for a while the two of them swayed to their favorite songs. This old man who needed help to walk had two dancing feet with a life of their own, the old lady with an equal zest for life. They danced and they smiled, their joy was infectious. They celebrated life, they celebrated togetherness. We shared their cake, we cheered them on.....

There are times when I wonder what the meaning of this existence is...there are times I wonder where all this is headed to....there are times I am distraught with small meaningless things. Now, when that happens, I see this image of the old man and his lady in togetherness swaying joyously in unison, to the gentle beats of their hearts. You can find happiness everywhere and at all times, if you only let it enter your life. Upbeat about life....always, that is my wish for you and me.