I am recounting a story I heard a friend share with colleagues at office. This was his farewell speech on his last day with the company. The copyright for this story is truly his. He will have this and many more such tales published in his own book of life. I am borrowing this story as it touched my heart....this is a story I want to remember.
My friend's father is an upright, righteous and straight forward officer of the Indian Administrative Services. In this age of corruption, as my friend puts it, he is proud to say that his father did not build his own house. In a day and age where there are many in the civil services who have multiple houses made of their second income, this talks a lot about the man's character. My friend's siblings were extraordinarily brilliant in school and college. They did well in terms of education and jobs. My friend, though a hardworking student was not the topper of the class. He got whatever he did in life through a lot of effort. Nothing came easy or on the platter.
My friend had ambitions of getting into the Indian Administrative Service following his father's footsteps. However, on his first attempt, he failed and was very depressed. He walked up to his father and in his depression shared the sense of unfairness he felt after all his efforts came to naught. He asked "Father, why is it that it is always me who misses out? Why is it that my brothers and sisters have it so easy with school? Why do they have it so easy with the best jobs? Why is it that they are so fair, charming and smart, while I am not? Why is this whole world going against me?" His father replied, " It is not that you are not fair, charming or smart. You, my son, are different. You are unique. You are Krishna!!". His father celebrated differences and taught my friend these values too. This shook my friend out of his self-pity and gave him courage to face the world. Today, he is a top honcho in a well respected corporate and doing very well for himself.
He learnt one thing from that evening with his father. Celebrate differences. Play to your strengths and bide your time. Good things happen if you will only let it. Good things happen if you believe in yourself and in the difference you make. And all this without falling into a trap, without ever falling into a never-ending cycle of self-pity. Thank you my friend for sharing this lesson.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Burning the midnight oil
Do you remember the days in college or rather the night outs in college just before that project submission or during the run up to the semester exams? Do you remember the sales days, burning midnight oil, pulling together that RFP (Request for proposal) response due for submission the next morning? Do you remember those system implementation days when one stayed awake all night to ensure the data conversion and other implementation steps were completed on time? I had another such experience in office last week and it sent me down memory lane. It reminded me of the numerous crunch situations when I had to do a straight 24 hour shift. Working the 24 hour shift once a while does give you an adrenalin rush. However much I'd wish, my office is no "Star trek" and I ain't no "Capt. Kirk". But it does give you a quaint sense of adventure. Especially now, it is a good antidote for mid-life crisis.
But then as I reflect on how things have changed, I realize what is different. I did not have to spend the whole night in office this time, if I choose not to. In the early days of my career, I had to stay the night because I was doing the work. The difference this time is that the real work is being done by my team. Technically, I did not need to stay the night. In fact, there is a good chance that my staying in office would be a distraction for the team. There is enough to do for the team than manage an overzealous boss. But, when I evaluated whether I should stay on or go home, I was reminded of the multiple times early on in my career that I stayed up. I remember we cherished it when the boss stayed up with us and encouraged us and participated in the ritual with us. I recollect we were bitter when the boss didn't stay with us ever, would always delegate and leave irrespective of how long the team worked. We always respect folks who are part of the team, irrespective of the role one plays, and even if he or she is the boss.
This made the decision easy. I was part of the team, I should stay with the team till the work is done. I had a choice, and I think I chose right because the team always comes first.
But then as I reflect on how things have changed, I realize what is different. I did not have to spend the whole night in office this time, if I choose not to. In the early days of my career, I had to stay the night because I was doing the work. The difference this time is that the real work is being done by my team. Technically, I did not need to stay the night. In fact, there is a good chance that my staying in office would be a distraction for the team. There is enough to do for the team than manage an overzealous boss. But, when I evaluated whether I should stay on or go home, I was reminded of the multiple times early on in my career that I stayed up. I remember we cherished it when the boss stayed up with us and encouraged us and participated in the ritual with us. I recollect we were bitter when the boss didn't stay with us ever, would always delegate and leave irrespective of how long the team worked. We always respect folks who are part of the team, irrespective of the role one plays, and even if he or she is the boss.
This made the decision easy. I was part of the team, I should stay with the team till the work is done. I had a choice, and I think I chose right because the team always comes first.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I missed my flight because....
Have you noticed how we tend to blame everything around but us when something goes wrong? A group of managers were meeting at an offsite location and we were supposed to reach there at 11 am. As we walked in, there were two charts put up...one that said "I am late because" and the other said "I am on time because". Every one who walked in was to choose the right chart and update the reasons. Invariably, what came out was that the people who reached on time attributed it to themselves, their alarm clock, their sense of punctuality and their skills of maneuvering the traffic. The people who were late attributed it to the weather, the traffic, the tractor that was left unattended in the middle of the road and so on. The trend was clear. I am on time because of me and I am late because of others!! We agreed that we should take more ownership for our actions and stop blaming the environment...take charge.
Easier said than done. My last visit to the capital city was a quick affair. The city is hit by rains. The city is getting ready to host a big games event. And the traffic snakes out like a never-ending anaconda. I had a long journey getting from the airport to office and should have expected that going back too. However, I managed to miss my return flight. The reason - well, the traffic of course :-) . A normal 30 minute ride to the airport took me over 2 hours!! I was fuming at the traffic, but I should have planned for that. I was fuming at the car driver, for not showing a sense of urgency and getting me through the by-lanes. But, that would not have been much help in any case. I was fuming at the airline staff for not making that small concession, I was just five minutes late. But, they do have guidelines to follow. I was fuming at myself for letting this happen!!
Well, now that it had happened, I did the only other thing possible - buy a ticket on the next flight and try and get home for the night. The existing ticket was non-refundable. As the drama died down, I thought about the incident again and realized that while I missed the flight, I had some reasons to celebrate.
1) I missed my flight, but I had a credit card and enough empowerment in my organization to swipe it for a new ticket. I did not have a resource deficit.
2) My boss did not make a hue and cry, he knew without me having to explain that I had made my genuine effort to be on time. I did not have a trust deficit.
3) My new flight would get me home close to midnight. My wife stayed up late for me and opened the door with a smile. I did not have a love deficit.
4) My daughter asked me with a lot of indignation " but, father, how did you, you of all people, miss the flight?". I saw that she understood the value of being on time, saw me as someone who modeled these behaviors for her and her younger sister, she was surprised by my miss. Well on this one, I am pushing it and being optimistic. But, I guess, I did not have a value deficit.
I have so much to be grateful for. I wish that I had reacted better when I was stuck in the traffic, when I missed the flight. I wish I could have seen the positives and not lost my head, even if it was for that short span of time. And, finally, I don't say it enough, but, thanks to everyone who makes me see the positives every day!!!
Easier said than done. My last visit to the capital city was a quick affair. The city is hit by rains. The city is getting ready to host a big games event. And the traffic snakes out like a never-ending anaconda. I had a long journey getting from the airport to office and should have expected that going back too. However, I managed to miss my return flight. The reason - well, the traffic of course :-) . A normal 30 minute ride to the airport took me over 2 hours!! I was fuming at the traffic, but I should have planned for that. I was fuming at the car driver, for not showing a sense of urgency and getting me through the by-lanes. But, that would not have been much help in any case. I was fuming at the airline staff for not making that small concession, I was just five minutes late. But, they do have guidelines to follow. I was fuming at myself for letting this happen!!
Well, now that it had happened, I did the only other thing possible - buy a ticket on the next flight and try and get home for the night. The existing ticket was non-refundable. As the drama died down, I thought about the incident again and realized that while I missed the flight, I had some reasons to celebrate.
1) I missed my flight, but I had a credit card and enough empowerment in my organization to swipe it for a new ticket. I did not have a resource deficit.
2) My boss did not make a hue and cry, he knew without me having to explain that I had made my genuine effort to be on time. I did not have a trust deficit.
3) My new flight would get me home close to midnight. My wife stayed up late for me and opened the door with a smile. I did not have a love deficit.
4) My daughter asked me with a lot of indignation " but, father, how did you, you of all people, miss the flight?". I saw that she understood the value of being on time, saw me as someone who modeled these behaviors for her and her younger sister, she was surprised by my miss. Well on this one, I am pushing it and being optimistic. But, I guess, I did not have a value deficit.
I have so much to be grateful for. I wish that I had reacted better when I was stuck in the traffic, when I missed the flight. I wish I could have seen the positives and not lost my head, even if it was for that short span of time. And, finally, I don't say it enough, but, thanks to everyone who makes me see the positives every day!!!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
What you see is not always what you get!!
I watched this really thought provoking advertisement...the product is Tata Sumo Grande MK II. Certainly not a product that resonates with me. Not one that I follow, but the advertisement really made me think. Have a look at this.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luLQl0oDJD4 . We measure folks by what we see. We often interpret people, situations and character based on the external signs. Our profiling of people and situations based on external characteristics can go wrong. Appearances can be deceptive. First impressions are not always right. What you see is not always what you get!!
While this is the generation of the one hour interviews and instant decisioning, it certainly has its perils. I heard a story this weekend of how the first impression can go wrong, can go horribly wrong. One of our family friends had advertised in the local newspaper for a chauffeur. Some aspirants turned up and they chose the most polished and respectable looking gentleman to drive their car for them. This person provided them with credible references and even gave them a name and number of a reference check. Impressed with what he had presented them, this gentleman was employed in their service and started his chauffeur duties in the right earnest.
Two days into the job, the family friend had to leave town and the chauffeur dropped him off at the airport. The family friend's wife had gone to the airport with them and then had to stop some place for shopping. The chauffeur mentioned that he would park elsewhere as the nearest parking lot was crowded. He provided his mobile number to call on once she completed her shopping. On completion of shopping, while trying to reach the chauffeur, the mobile phone was unreachable. After a couple of hours, realization dawned that the chauffeur was probably missing. Gone missing with the car!!
On contacting the police and sharing details of the chauffeur, our family friends had the biggest shock of all. The so-called chauffeur was actually a car thief. The police mentioned that he must be miles away from the city and it was going to take a while if at all to trace him or the car. Worse still, he was a "well known" car thief and just out of jail a week earlier!! Now, before you start wondering about the reference he provided. Well, our family friends were quite taken in by the chauffeur that they had not called on the reference. If they had checked with the reference, they would have known earlier. The reference provided was the chief warden of the jail-house he had just been released from!!
I remind myself....don't be taken in by appearances. You can be fooled by first impressions. This story illustrates that. The Sumo advertisement says the same thing but stresses on the positives. Remember - what you see is not always what you get......external characteristics are just one thing, look for the vibrations, tune into the inner sonar!!
While this is the generation of the one hour interviews and instant decisioning, it certainly has its perils. I heard a story this weekend of how the first impression can go wrong, can go horribly wrong. One of our family friends had advertised in the local newspaper for a chauffeur. Some aspirants turned up and they chose the most polished and respectable looking gentleman to drive their car for them. This person provided them with credible references and even gave them a name and number of a reference check. Impressed with what he had presented them, this gentleman was employed in their service and started his chauffeur duties in the right earnest.
Two days into the job, the family friend had to leave town and the chauffeur dropped him off at the airport. The family friend's wife had gone to the airport with them and then had to stop some place for shopping. The chauffeur mentioned that he would park elsewhere as the nearest parking lot was crowded. He provided his mobile number to call on once she completed her shopping. On completion of shopping, while trying to reach the chauffeur, the mobile phone was unreachable. After a couple of hours, realization dawned that the chauffeur was probably missing. Gone missing with the car!!
On contacting the police and sharing details of the chauffeur, our family friends had the biggest shock of all. The so-called chauffeur was actually a car thief. The police mentioned that he must be miles away from the city and it was going to take a while if at all to trace him or the car. Worse still, he was a "well known" car thief and just out of jail a week earlier!! Now, before you start wondering about the reference he provided. Well, our family friends were quite taken in by the chauffeur that they had not called on the reference. If they had checked with the reference, they would have known earlier. The reference provided was the chief warden of the jail-house he had just been released from!!
I remind myself....don't be taken in by appearances. You can be fooled by first impressions. This story illustrates that. The Sumo advertisement says the same thing but stresses on the positives. Remember - what you see is not always what you get......external characteristics are just one thing, look for the vibrations, tune into the inner sonar!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)