Indelible Indomitable Spirit

"I was with God, and I was with the devil. They fought, and God won". These are the words of Mario Sepulveda, one of the 33 Chilean miners who was trapped underground for 69 days at San Jose Copper mine in the Atacama Desert.

As we wind down 2010, many of us reflect on what the year has been about for us personally and for the world in general. I was searching for the world story that would underline the year for me. As I looked back through the newspaper pages, it was beginning to strike me as an ugly year. Some stories made me hang my head in shame. Some made me worry for the future. Most stories showed how conflict ridden this world had become, how mean and petty we had become. And then I regained hope as I remembered this remarkable story of Super Mario and the 32 other miners, of their resilience, of their defiance, of their indelible indomitable spirit. Mario said " We were swallowed into the bowels of hell but we have been reborn....." And then I realized, that this is what 2010 has been about in many ways. It has been about the indelible indomitable human spirit!!

So, I would easily vote for this Chilean story as my world story of 2010 that I want to remember and keep alive. This story of rescue that has many stories within. Stories of love, stories of hope, stories of leadership. The story of love is of Esteban Rojas, the eighteenth miner to see the light of day. He proposed to his sweetheart of many years from the mine below. "When I get out, let's buy the dress and we'll get married". The story of hope is of  Ariel Ticona Yanez, the thirty second miner to come out from darkness. His wife had a baby girl when he was trapped in the mine. A baby girl who he saw after one month of her birth, a girl who he named Esperanza. How fitting that "Esperanza" means "Hope" in Spanish. The story of leadership is of Luis Urza, the last miner to reach safety. Urza was the shift foreman and he had to keep the 33 miners together through first 17 days of darkness with absolutely no contact to the outer world. He had to lead in extraordinary times. And like a true captain, he was the last man out. And not just these, there are many other stories of courage, stories of teamwork. Of Mario Gomez, the oldest miner at 63 who suffered from silicosis. Of Jimmy Sanchez, the youngest miner at 19 who is claustrophobic. Most of all, of "Los 33" who worked together as a team. Quoting Mario again, " Each day a different person took a bad turn. Every time that happened, we worked as a team, to try to keep the morale up. It was important to keep faith".

Most importantly, this is a story of the human spirit, of perseverance, of resilience. Underlining this is Edison Pena, the twelfth man to come to the surface, who ran the New York marathon within a month of his 69 day ordeal. Each coming back to life in their own different way, "Los 33" is my world story of 2010. Keep the faith, be resilient and shine in the glow of the indelible indomitable spirit this coming year. Happy 2011!!

A Speck of Cosmic Dust

I am fortunate to be the alumnus of a prestigious business school in the country. As you might imagine, folks land up in business school so that they can become the CEOs of the future, so that they become the hot shot investment bankers, so that they can become. Most folks who come to business school have big ambition. Most folks are extremely driven towards success. And yes, there are some folks who already feel successful even before they have started. Some folks are already acting like CEOs. Some are already the hotshot investment bankers they intend to become. The place is full of ambition and achievement.

Going back to the time, we were in a frenzy to achieve our potential and to make it big in life. Between classes, library, project work, group assignments and house parties, we didn't have much time for anything else. But thankfully, the house parties gave us time to let our hair down and do the many foolish things that we would remember, laugh over for years to come. It gave us the time for unadulterated friendship, unadulterated by anything significant other than some spirits. It was also in such settings that some of the most heated debates on life and its significance took place. And it is here, in the midst of all this, that friendships were formed that last a very long time. Isn't it funny that you go to college to make a career, but more than anything else, you typically end up making lifelong friends.

I remember, today, one such friend. A friend who with one simple statement provided the antithesis to the whole ambition and achievement frenzy. It was in one of these house parties where the world was a haze. A complete haze of unclear and anxious ambition, at least for me. Everyone seemed to know what they wanted to become...everyone but me. I had to make up my mind because I need to be counted,  and you need ambition to be counted. There were probably a few others like me hiding behind their "I know what I want" facade. So, in the midst of all the budding CEOs and investment bankers, the mist of uncertainty began to rise. And that was around the time, that my dear friend imparted his Sufi wisdom and I was his ardent disciple.  He said to me, " We spend our time worrying about what we will become, about our future, our dreams. But really, while we might love to believe otherwise, in reality none of that is in your hands completely. Do your best and go with the flow. The world is not only about you. You are but just another speck of cosmic dust!!". While we treated that as comic relief to the stress of living a forced ambition, it was a statement that stayed through with me for a lifetime.

Every time I got a promotion, a newer bigger job or a simple pat on the back, it reminded me to not let it go to my head. Every time I got the blues, a problem at work or a talk-down from the boss, it reminded me again to not let the situation affect me. It provided and continues to provide perspective to most things. It shows your place in the grand scheme of things. It lets you take your ambition and your achievement a little less seriously. It reminds you that you are significantly insignificant or insignificantly significant, and either way that is not much of a difference. It helps you remain grounded. Thanks to my friend and philosopher for his all enduring perspective on life - a perspective that lightens the burden that ambition places on you. Yes truly, what are we but specks of cosmic dust?

Austerity for Posterity

Austerity!! I read in the papers is the most searched word on online dictionaries in 2010. This also shows that most folks until 2010 did not know what austerity means? It took the severe financial crisis of the last year to bring the word into prominence. In that sense, until recently, austerity was the most forgotten word in society. And I have more reasons than just online search statistics to believe that.

What does austerity mean? In today's financial mess, it means prudent fiscal discipline, be it countries or corporations. What does it mean to individuals like you and me? Again, in a financial sense, it is living within your means, not over leveraging and being prudent in your financial decisions. But, austerity is beyond financials. The dictionary explains austerity as plainness; freedom from adornment; severe simplicity. And that is all pervasive...it is about a way of life. You don't have to look far to see that way of life...remember the wonderful 70's? Remember the 70's when there was very little to go around .....when television was a luxury and the only way to get a decent perfume was from duty free shops. Remember the 70's when that same little was enough, when the same little resulted in lots of joy and happiness. Remember the 70's when you got all that you needed, not necessarily all that you wanted. Remember the 70's when your needs took precedence over your wants. Remember the 70's when desire was dangerous.

The world has now changed. Today, many more folks get what they want. The focus is so much more on the wants. Austerity is about changing that focus back to the needs. Every time you want something, it is about asking if you really need it. It is about travelling light through life. It is about shedding what we don't need rather than acquiring what we want. Don't take more than you need and there will be enough for everyone else. It is about a way of life not just for us, but to preserve for our future generations. It is about rediscovering joy through simplicity.....Austerity for Posterity!!!

Lies, little lies and the simple truth

Telling a lie is an art ? A straight faced innocent lie is art because not everyone can do it. That is probably how the folks who can carry it off end up feeling that they can get away with anything. When you look at all that has happened in the world lately..... The big scams, the collapse of the big firms, the shaming of the big celebrities, whatever it be. When you look deeper, it all probably started off with one little lie. Something that looked quite harmless at that time. And then it grew bigger and bigger and finally reached unmanageable proportions. It grew bigger because no one questioned it, corrected it.

I remember my childhood days when the little lies crept in. I was probably six or seven then. Were they really small lies or was it a child's imaginative mind? The line is unclear. But like most children who day-dream about becoming a big sportsman or the like, I had my little dreams too. I would dream about being that famous footballer. In those dreams of mine, I would be scoring the most glorious of goals, winning the closest of matches and lifting trophies of gold. Reality was of-course different. I was not the most gifted or natural footballer. I would not score the most glorious of goals or win the closest of matches...forget lifting that trophy of gold. After a while, I started loving the world of my imagination more than reality. So, I started talking about it. On my way back from school, I would tell my mom stories of my football heroics. It obviously looked too good to be true for my mom. She listened in a couple of times, but finally had to tell me that the stories were not tying up. She broke the news to me very subtly that it was not a good thing to lie. She told me in as many words that she would not tolerate lies. I felt ashamed. So, imagination stopped flirting with reality, the little dreams stayed in the mind and I stopped the little lie.

What might have happened if I had got away with those little lies? Who knows. But, I learnt early on that telling the lie risks getting caught out. I learnt early on the embarrassment of being caught telling a lie. I learnt early on that it was not done. However, there was another incident that reinforced this in my mind. I was a little older, maybe grade five and in those days it was a real privilege to carry a fountain pen to school. I had my own fountain pen and it was something I really treasured. One day I misplaced the pen and when my folks asked me where it was, I was scared that I had lost it. So, I spun some story about having given it to some friend who did not return it.... actually, another little lie. Again as fate would have it, soon after, my mom found the pen and realized that I had lied. This time it was clear to me that every-time I say a lie, I will get caught and that it was not worth it. My mom told me that whatever the circumstance, including in a situation of fear, it still makes sense to speak the truth. The truth might make you look bad, but the lie will make you look worse. The simple truth wins always over that little lie. That is a lesson I never forget all my life, something I share with my children. Really thank my mom for those early lessons on integrity...I can now sleep easy every night. In today's world, that is a blessing!!

Green vs Grey

"Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." - I came across this quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupery in Paulo Coelho's blog. It is true that children most times just cut through the layers of complication to show something simple, while grown-ups make things more complex than it needs to be. The latest example is climate change with the Kyoto protocol, the failed Copenhagen meeting and now with the Cancun summit. What is it actually about?


What is climate change actually about? Emission cuts? Deforestation? Redistribution of wealth and resources? From purely a newspaper and internet based ringside view, my sense is that it is about more than just climate change. It is economics. It is politics. It is about poverty. It is about wealth. It is about growth. It is about large corporations. It is about hungry farmers. It is about 195 countries with different compulsions and different opinions. It is negotiation. And is that what it should be? Should it not be simpler than that? Slow action on climate change would mean no economics, no politics, no wealth.... forget redistribution of that wealth. Slow action on climate change would mean slow death for a majority of the world's resources and countries. So, should we not cut through to the simple uncomplicated version. Look at climate change as just that. Look at climate change as preserving our green beautiful earth. Preserving it for our children.


I contrast the confusing signals from the Cancun summit to the relatively single-minded approach of a few girls who live in our neighborhood. These girls, my daughter included, have one simple agenda - to spread awareness about water conservation and a green environment. Their approach is pretty straightforward and they call themselves "green vs grey". If the world does not stay green, we have a grey future. So goes the logic. It can't get simpler than that. These little girls get it. But our grown-up climate change negotiators at Cancun? 


P.S: I saw this really powerful talk on Ted.com by Bill Ury. It talks about the third side in negotiations. Today's discussions on climate change are about contributions from developed, fast developing and poor countries. It is about who does how much and the focus shifts away from the actual peril at hand. At a time when it is a conflict between two sides, we should remind ourselves of the third side - our children and the future of this planet. Is that future green or does it remain grey? It is the big fight - Green vs Grey.


William Ury: The walk from "no" to "yes" | Video on TED.com

Bardo

I was at a workshop on managing change in organizations. Every organization goes through change of some sort or the other. In today's recessionary world or post recessionary world (I will let your optimism decide), there are many changing business models and large scale impact to folks. So, is change good or bad? Well, the cliche is that the only constant is change, that change is neutral. That is true for organizations and that is true for our lives as well.

In fact, this workshop talked about four stages that repeat in every organization's life-cycle. The initial stages or the start-up mode, the ongoing operation and growth mode, the white water mode or the troubled "in between" phase followed by the new resurgent phase. In a way, when you look at various companies, it is true that over a long period of time, it goes through this cycle. The big example for everything these days is Apple. So, let's look at the Apple example and you will see these phases including the resurgent phase with the launch of the iPod. Apple was reborn and resurrected itself in a new avatar....not a computer company any more. They removed the word "Computer" from Apple Computer in 2007.

I thought about this example and discussed with other participants in the workshop. I began to see parallels between this organizational theory and what I had read a few years earlier in a book, "The Tibetan book of living and dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche. This book talks about impermanence. It talks about preparing for the biggest change in our lives. The biggest change called Death. It talks about four stages or bardos. It talks about life and living, about death and dying, about the in-between times after death and finally, the becoming or the new life. One finds immense similarity in modern day organizational theories and age old spiritual theories. It reinforces both theories in my mind. Yes, both organizations and individuals go through the four bardos. In fact, mountains change shape, rivers dry up, icy continents start melting, stars burn out, everything undergoes change. Everything goes through the four bardos.

Preparing for each change is what life is about, be it in an organization or otherwise. Don't cling on to the old models, because you built them. Don't hang on to that old system because it served you well in the past. Don't hold on...change. I met a senior person who had, in the sixties or seventies, been part of a team that implemented the huge bank cheque sorter and reader machines. Now, he ran that whole department and this at a time when imaging and image based cheques were taking over from the sorter and reader machines. He mentioned to me that it was difficult to see what he had implemented as cutting edge solution back then was now being replaced. He found it difficult to digest and he loved the old system, yet, he had to move on to newer ways of doing things. Don't underestimate the pain of change, don't underestimate the feeling of loss, prepare for it. Understand the opportunities for transformation, for liberation that each bardo shows us and be ready for it.

Some things change, Most things don't

Last weekend, I was at our fifteen year alumni reunion. While I do stay in touch with some of my friends, there were many I had absolutely no contact with or at best, just on and off conversations. So, I enthusiastically signed up for the event as it was a great opportunity to reconnect. As the reunion date got closer, I began to have second thoughts about the whole event. Everyone was going to be much older, more mature and maybe too tame....that was a possibility. There was this lingering thought in my mind that it might turn into a boring gathering of middle aged folks, that it would become a forced meeting of folks who had become strangers to one other. People change, circumstances change, life changes. Things change...period.

And then, with that little iota of doubt, we all landed up at the reunion. Everyone did the formal hellos. Must admit that some hellos were not the result of instant recognition. People change and memories fade. We saw grey hair, receding hairlines, protruding bellies, widening girth.... Yes, people change and the external signs showed that most of us had. But then, it took just those few initial seconds, before things began to warm up again. We started recounting the old days and things were fast going into Action Replay mode.

The two days that followed after was an absolute blast from the past. Everyone slipped back into their "old form". The armchair philosophers still had their philosophy to show. The Sufi saints still had their cosmic theories to share. The Jim Morrisons had their music and mojo to flaunt. The conversation took a turn towards absolutely nothing of any significant relevance. The laughter grew louder. The magic reappeared. People change but not that much. Deep down, at the core of it all, the real person still resides. The real person does not disappear. At best it is latent, but in the company of old friends, it resurfaces. And resurface it did with a vengeance and all the taming that life had managed in the last fifteen odd years were lost. As the party went on, it grew wilder. Everyone was fifteen years younger now and probably, the only reminder of age for some folks were the creaking bones. It was just like we started right where we had left off fifteen years ago !!!

Well, really, not much changes. There were a few enthusiastic folks who made the reunion happen. Actually, when I think about it, it is the same enthusiastic bunch that made things happen back then too. And, one person in particular, Mr T pulled the logistics and all of it together. Our entire group can't thank him enough for that...he believed in the fact that this reunion was a great idea...had no doubts and made it happen. From skeptics like me, thank you for making it happen. I came back thinking.......Some things change, Most things don't. And, hey, that is a great feeling that will keep us going till our next reunion.

Enjoy the new high. Hapak, Hapak

That would be so incomplete !!!

I was at dinner with some colleagues visiting from England. They were here on business and had flown in early on the weekend so that they could get some time to see the sights. I realize that most visitors to India want to visit the Taj Mahal if they can find the time. My dinner companion had also wanted to go and visit the Taj Mahal. But he chose not to at the last minute. I asked him why he had changed his mind. He said "I have always wanted to go to the Taj. My wife and I have been planning this for the last fifteen odd years. And finally, it seemed that I had the opportunity to do it. However, somehow, it did not feel complete going to the Taj without my wife. She urged me on and that is why I planned the trip. But at the last minute, I could not get myself to do it without her." This made me think...Yes, many of us have had such incomplete experiences. Incomplete because you wished you had your partner to share it with.

I do not mean this in a "romantic chick flick" manner. I contemplate this from a "oneness of identity" perspective. It is strange yet surreal that over time, you and your partner seem to have a single identity. Well, I have heard this often that people who have been married to each other for a long time start looking like one another. I have not seen any of that yet, but yes.....when I look at the older couples, they do seem to come across as one entity. They share one identity. It does feel that one is so incomplete without the other. When someone says   "She is made for you" . When the astrologer says " The stars are aligned". When you take that one-fifth of a second to decide someone is just right for you. When you do any of the above, you are buying into a new identity, one that is much better than your own existing one. Quoting Joseph Campbell, "Marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity. When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship."

So, if marriage is really a single spiritual identity, then, it is not only about the small journey to the Taj. It is about the much longer and more challenging journey through life and everything else you believe happens after. In fact, a friend of mine who is keen on progressing on his spiritual journey had a conversation with his guide. His guide's first question was on the readiness of the partner to go along on the journey. He was advised to go slow if the partner was not ready as yet. Don't you think it is a little bit like the trip to the Taj? You don't want to do this alone because that would be so incomplete !!!

And finally what matters!!

I have had a hectic month with lots of travel. Generally, I am used to a lot of travel and have never had a problem with that....until recently. Starting off on one's travels is painful as you kiss your wife and daughters goodbye. Being a father who is away is not the greatest feeling in the world. But everyone has a job to do, and so have I and we must get on with it. Call it age or call it inertia, but travel on work is beginning to wear me down. No, not physically....it is wearing me down emotionally.

While on my travels, I am usually engrossed in work and only work.....until recently. I try harder now to meet old friends and family who are close to my destination. My last few visits have been wonderful because I have been meeting friends and catching up on the past, present and future. Friends who travel miles and across cities to make this meeting happen. This can only happen with good and true friends. Call it age or call it nostalgia, but these meetings are for me very special.

And at the end of a long travel, getting on that plane ride back home is the most amazing feeling. My last long visit ended with me boarding the flight to land right in the middle of a family get-together. A family reunion where every one was waiting for me to join. A family reunion that I was longing to be part of. Call it age or call it whatever, but these memories are what life is all about.

Finally, it is not about where you have traveled, it is not about globe-trotting, it is not about the frequent flier miles. Life is about the family who waits longingly for your return. Life is about the few hours spent with old friends after fifteen years in some unknown land. Life is about the aching you feel as you look into the clouds from an airplane. And then you realize, that finally what matters is family and friends!!!

Joie de vivre

When I meet with old friends from my childhood and college days, there is always one question very early in the conversation. They always inquire about my father, about how he is doing and if he is still the same. I have seen through the years that my father has this ability to strike a conversation and make acquaintances at every given opportunity. In the good old days when we would travel by train to visit family, I would keep count of the number of new friends he made on that one train journey. And these folks do remember him for a very long time....he always left an impression during these chance encounters.

While I was growing up, I was much more reserved and in a sense, diametrically opposite to what my father is. In the awkward teenage days, I would cringe in my seat as soon as my father started a conversation with a stranger. He would pick up a conversation with the most unlikely of companions at the most unlikely places.  Thinking back, it brings a smile. Today's refrain is of not trusting strangers. Much to the contrary, I grew up under the influence of a father who was out there joyfully participating in the society. And it is not only his ability to make friends that left an impression on my young mind, it is also his true spirit to volunteer and help others through the small travails of life. In the old days, it was something as small as " I am going down to the xyz office to pay an zyx bill....do you want me to do that for you too?" .....small daily gestures like this. Today when I look back at all the small gestures and add it all up, it is really BIG!!!

As I grew out of my teenage awkwardness, I started to appreciate much more the genuine warmth and joy in my father's outlook to life, friends and family. Now, being much older, having waged the daily battles in one's life, having realized the ease with which life can pull you down, I have to admit that my appreciation for what my father does has gone up manifold. He lives every moment like it is totally worth it. He is enthusiastic about every small thing be it running around doing grocery shopping or paying the bills. How can one generate enthusiasm in doing the routine?  Every single interaction with friends or strangers alike is a joyful moment. You can see the glow in his face and the sparkle in his eyes as he meets someone. How can one retain that childlike enthusiasm every single time? My father's pure and simple joy for living is probably, the biggest lesson of my life. When I go through a lean patch, I think of my father and his approach to life. Every single day, he demonstrates the real meaning of  the joy of living. Joie de vivre !!!

Father, nobody thanks you for all the small things you do everyday. Many take you for granted. Some abuse your good spirit. But, you don't give up...you go on...and I love you for that. Thank you for sharing through your actions,  the biggest lesson of my life...live enthusiastically and joyfully. Life is like the train journeys we have had together...it is a lot of fun. 

Mr.D, I salute you!!! And I wish I could be at least half the man you are....

Rumours

Every office has its own grapevine, every family has its own gossip, every place has its set of rumours. Some are the harmless kind while some are the vicious variety. Sometimes you have a quiet laugh about it, sometimes you moan about it, sometimes you are so irritated by the stupidity. But the rumour goes on..... Now with the speed at which information travels, the rumour really catches on like wildfire. And lo, sometimes, the rumour becomes reality!!!

Let me illustrate. This year there was this big rumour doing the rounds in our office that there would be no promotions happening for our associates. Being part of the leadership team, I knew that it was just a rumour. A false, malicious rumour that can demoralize a great team. We worked hard to fight the rumour, but to no effect. The grapevine has its own roots and branches and there is only so much one can do. This rumour took a vibrant life of its own. Towards the end of the year, our organization suddenly decided that we would defer our associate promotions to the next year. I know for a fact that this deferment happened due to sudden developments in the last couple of months, but the rumour had been on for the last six months. To me, it looked like rumour had replaced reality. To me, it looked like so many folks believing in the rumour had caused a shift in outcome!! 

I have my theory about rumours reinforced by incidents similar to what I just described. Well, everyone has heard about self fulfilling prophecies. Haven't we had someone say this to us.... "Be careful what you wish for?" My theory is that rumours are nothing else, but someone's wishes. They are prophecies set about by someone's imaginative mind, by someone's calculative mind. They gain momentum as other minds buy into the prophecy. As it gains momentum, the rumour gets a life of its own. A parallel identity to reality itself. It now starts competing with reality for pole position.Whatever it is that people believe in, whatever people want to happen, what cause the many minds to vibrate together for......that is what finally happens. The rumour wins and becomes reality....possible? Yes, absolutely possible.

Why do we have group chanting for world peace, why do we have community groups working for the same cause, why do we have social networking sites - because we acknowledge the power of a thousand minds resonating together. We acknowledge that the minds resonating together can change outcomes. Now think about this....if we could use this power to spread the good messages, wish for the happy events....if we could create a network of positivity, we could change this world. We could change this world with the right rumours....

Paulo Coelho says in the Alchemist - " If you want something badly, the entire universe will conspire to get it for you". So, whatever it is you want for this world, plant that seed in your mind, get other minds to resonate with you for the cause and make it happen!!! Rumours...they could be good change agents if we only realize the power of a thousand minds. Collective will....that is what it is all about.

P.S. I watched this movie "Inception" on a long haul airplane journey a couple of weeks back, it talks about planting an idea in some ones's mind. When I read my blog before publishing it, there is some commonality in concept. Purely coincidental....or was that idea planted by someone? Go figure...

Paper Boats

"Day by day I float my paper boats one by one down the running stream". These starting lines of the poem by Rabindranath Tagore ring clearly even today. I remember this was a poem on syllabus when I was in school. More so, something as simple as a paper boat which one used to make so often as a child is a part of the joyful memories of the growing up years. Pure unadulterated joy....

Last week, rains lashed the city creating little puddles and abundant opportunity to re-live the paper boat experience. I managed to convince my daughters to experience the magic of the paper boat. Experience the magic of making the paper boat. Experience the thrill of launching it in a puddle of rainwater. Pushing it along gently and watching it glide lazily. Watching it get entangled in the garden weeds. Jumping over puddles to retrieve it and then, start the process all over again. The paper boat mesmerizes with its simplicity.

Do today's children miss out on the real world and on the small simple joys out there? Do we glorify complexity? Does simplicity take the backseat? Well, the first thing that my younger daughter asked when we made the paper boat was "Where is the motor?"

Today's games train the mind to solve, yesterday's games trained the mind to observe. In this era of short attention spans, shouldn't we train the young minds to observe? If meditation is observing the mind and lessening the clutter....the paper boat is one of the first childhood interventions that help in that direction. Let us not lose the magic of these paper boats.

"When the night comes I bury my face in my arms and dream that my paper boats float on and on under the midnight stars. The fairies of sleep are sailing in them, and the lading is their baskets full of dreams" .

@ home

This week we are at my parents. Away from work, it's our time off. Kids are on vacation and enjoying with their grandparents. Well, the week is almost over and we will soon get started on the regular routine...oh, I am so going to miss this blissful time!!

It is over twenty two years since I left my parents home. Why is it that this feels so very blissful everytime I come back home to my parents? Is it because I can act, play and fight like a child again? Is it because I can for sometime wind back the clock and relive the memories? Is it that I have time to do things that I otherwise could not? Is it that my mind is free of clutter? Or is it because my folks make me feel special beyond words? I don't know, it is probably a combination of factors.

Home is certainly the one place you feel extra special. Home is where you feel boundless love. Home is where you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. Home is where you are accepted as you are. Hey, if this is what home is, then home is not necessarily just a physical place....it's a place inside you that you can tap into, if you only try. Being at home is a state of mind....it is being comfortable about who you are. It takes special folks to make you feel that way, but finally, it takes you to recognize that state of mind. Look for the moments when you feel at home. With an uncluttered mind and with compassion, you can be @ home always....

Thirteen

I was in a meeting with one of my business partners and she enquired about how my girls were doing. I said "Trying to keep them young a little bit longer". That was a strange thing to say, but kids seem to grow up much quicker these days. It's the premature teenager syndrome...thanks to television, internet and the works. My older girl is ten, but I sometimes wonder if she is going on thirteen!!!

Well, actually not. I have probably become the paranoid dad I promised I would never ever become. Never say never. All said and done, parenting in this era is different from some years back...not that I had kids back then. But that is my guess when one compares the environment and exposure that today's children have. So, what's different and is it really different? Don't know but, today's parenting experience is a collage of many things.....paranoia, hope, fun, friendship, freedom, discovery.....all in one.

1) Bedtime story on television
Television time. How much ever you want to control and monitor the exposure, it is a twinkling of an eyelid away. I grew up in an era where television was a luxury and had strict schedules about when to watch and what to watch. We fail miserably in enforcing that with our ever persistent girls.

2) Today's Little Red Riding Hood is a gum chewing teenager
Hannah Montana. Unfortunately, Hannah Montana is older than my daughter and will do things that are always a few years before my daughter should. But fortunately, the storyline also has a good father-daughter bond that it hard for me to resist. So, why blame my daughter that she is so hooked on to it. And when she picks up quotable quotes like "Life's a climb but the view is great" from Hannah, it is not as bad as I thought.

3) Beware - The Big Bad Wolf called Internet
Well, internet can't be far behind television in the "what's so different" list. In fact, this is probably the one chapter that is extremely different in the parenting guide revisions from a decade back. Disaster struck our loving family when my daughter opened her Facebook account. The battle-lines were drawn...father versus daughter and of course, mother is always on the daughter's side. I was just worried about what the big bad world of internet would do to my daughter. But then, I found an ally. Her school stepped in and made her and her friends shut down their Facebook accounts. That was a relief!!!

4) Learn the Dr.Jekyll side to the Internet
Not everything on the internet is bad. My daughter started her own blog. Her interest is creative writing and what better way to exercise that in today's times than start her own blog. I don't know if she inspired me to start this blog or I inspired her to...I guess, we inspired each other to give it a shot.

5) Paint a colourful world together
Sticking on a bit longer to the digital world, my daughter absolutely loves the digital camera. She clicked her first picture when she was four. A pretty good one of my wife and I which adorns our living room!! And hey, I grew up with a Dad who is a film technologist himself, but the first time I ever clicked the camera was certainly not when I was four.


6) Rejoin the culture club
English is the medium of conversation, be it television or internet, school or home...My girls struggle to talk in their native tongue. Well, the culprits in this case are absolutely my wife and I. And when I think back, we just don't realize when English became our first language at home. We are now consciously trying to salvage the situation here.

7) Rejoice, there is common ground sometimes
Enid Blyton, Famous Five and Secret Seven is what's common between my growing up years and hers. The difference is that at an age where I probably read my first,  there are not many left for her to read.


8) "OMG" moments are aplenty
Sleepovers.... The word I dread. My baby is staying over at her friends. She enjoys it, but I am sleepless. 


9) "It's my life" is no longer a Bon Jovi song you love
Never try to get her do something she doesn't want to. She has a mind of her own and that at an age when I didn't know what mind was. But, please....


10) Save the world...make it a better place
My daughter and her friends run a "save the world" campaign in our community. Walking in from office into a home filled with apocalyptic versions of what will happen to the world if we don't stop it.....phew, that is an extra load on my shoulders. But, my daughter is the warrior...and that feels good.


11) No tailgating
My daughter does not need me tailing around her anymore. I love her "yes I know...it's the hundredth time you told me" expression when I ask her to be careful. I love her complete "oh please don't fuss" attitude when I worry about her little scratches and bumps from her playtime or school.


12) She knows you better than most
I told my daughter I was writing this blog-post called "thirteen". I told her that it was because it is my thirteenth post..wow, already. I asked her if she could guess what it might me about. Within a blink, she said "About me acting like a thirteen year old?". My jaw dropped. How did she know? I asked her to which she said " I know you Dad !!!"


13) She is always your baby...no matter what
Thirteen or ten, it does not finally matter. She is always your baby and will be. So heck, why worry about it. She loves you, she is everything to you ...and that is all that matters. Thirteen is not too bad, so that's where I stop rambling.

When the black cat crossed my path....

Yesterday I was stepping into my office campus with a colleague when a black cat crossed our path. My natural first reaction was to stop in my tracks. I turned around and told my friend that we should take a few steps back and return to office after a couple of minutes. My friend smiled and asked me if I believed in the black cat superstition? Hmm...Good question. And the answer is that I really don't know. I thought for a while and it seemed to me that the reaction was simply spurred by the fact that I have seen a few other friends do the same thing. So, it was really not a question of belief....it was more a question of not questioning a widespread belief.

Later, I did some research and the internet provides some fantastic insights into the origin of some superstitions. The black cat, I realized, was a symbol of the Egyptian Goddess Bast. When the Romans invaded Egypt, they wanted to remove all symbols that were sacred to Egyptians and replace them with Roman symbols. This lead to the first wave of cat bashing. Later on during the Middle Ages, in Western Europe, black cats were associated with witches. One interesting folklore that I came across is about a father and his son walking the street on a moonless night. A black cat crossed their path suddenly and the father son pair threw stones at it. The bruised cat disappeared into the house of a woman, who was considered to be a witch. The next day, the father and son saw the same "witch" woman and she was bruised and battered too. This lead to the belief that witches went about at night in the guise of a black cat. Therein lies the origin of the black cat superstition, about being the witch with evil designs on you. Sometimes what starts off as a harmless story takes on course altering propositions...to think that the black cat superstition continues to this day!! All superstitions start with a story or reason that is probably relevant for the times, however, it continues to hold sway over generations while losing the initial meaning.

Now, superstition is blind...but, it started for and with a reason. When the reason is not reinforced, it loses meaning. It becomes mechanics...it becomes a joke....it becomes irrational....it becomes irrelevant. But maybe, rethinking the relevance can give it new meaning. Everytime something goes well, I "knock on wood". Knocking on wood started as a practice because some of our ancestors revered Nature as God. A tree, it was believed, is where spirits reside.  Knocking on wood was a way of thanking the spirits for all the good that came one's way. These days, we "knock on wood" of course, but we, the post-industrial man also knock down trees. Do we really rever nature and respect it? With all the hoopla about ecological degradation, isin't there merit in treating Nature as God? Or is knocking on wood just a meaningless act? Do we follow the ritual and forget the meaning?

Maybe, all superstitions are not blind. It is time to rethink the relevance of these superstitions. And maybe, in some cases, reinforce the meaning. In certain other cases, find new meaning and in the few other, discard as meaningless. Next time I knock on wood, I am atleast going to acknowledge the importance of nature...hopefully, some day soon , I will do something about it too....even if it is just planting a tree.

Share your superstitions, its meaning and relevance for you. As you can see, I am beginning to rethink my superstitions....find new age meaning....and hopefully, some new actions. And all this introspection, thanks to that black cat who crossed my path. Who says that is bad luck?

The Whole Person ?

This has been an interesting week. We had senior folks visiting our offices. "From the head office" as senior visitors usually are. We had a series of reviews, town-halls and leadership sessions. You do have important clarifying takeaways from sessions such as these and I had a few too. Well, my biggest take-away during the conversations was a rather innocuous comment the boss made when someone asked her about work-life balance. She said make sure "the whole person" turns up to work. What does that truly mean? Agreed, there are many sides to a personality...the rational, the emotional and so on. All sides together make up the whole person. But do we know our own "whole person" ?

Do we even know what our whole person requirements are? Do we spend enough time working on our own whole person requirements? I relate this to a fundamentally interesting concept that looks at happiness as a function of serving your whole person requirements. It looks at different aspects that contribute to happiness, almost a formula if there is one. The variables as I see it are and in no particular order:
1) Spiritual well-being
2) Economic well-being
3) Intellectual pursuits and education
4) Emotional balance
5) Physical and mental health
6) Ecological and environmental awareness
7) Community and culture connectivity
8) Time use effectiveness
If one is able to balance all the above variables, there is a higher probability that the whole person shows up. There is a higher probability that the person is not unidimensional in life. We are talking about a person, but in fact, this is what a country measures itself on!! Bhutan has a Gross National Happiness (GNH) Index. It measures the country well-being not by GDP, but rather by GNH. Check out their website on http://www.grossnationalhappiness.com . This is a wholeness indicator, not a unidimensional indicator like GDP which only measures economic well-being. I need to perfect my own personal wholeness indicator .... get to acknowledge my own whole person. Have you ever thought about this? Share your perspective.

You are Krishna!! You are Unique!!

I am recounting a story I heard a friend share with colleagues at office. This was his farewell speech on his last day with the company. The copyright for this story is truly his. He will have this and many more such tales published in his own book of life. I am borrowing this story as it touched my heart....this is a story I want to remember.

My friend's father is an upright, righteous and straight forward officer of the Indian Administrative Services. In this age of corruption, as my friend puts it, he is proud to say that his father did not build his own house. In a day and age where there are many in the civil services who have multiple houses made of their second income, this talks a lot about the man's character. My friend's siblings were extraordinarily brilliant in school and college. They did well in terms of education and jobs. My friend, though a hardworking student was not the topper of the class. He got whatever he did in life through a lot of effort. Nothing came easy or on the platter.

My friend had ambitions of getting into the Indian Administrative Service following his father's footsteps. However, on his first attempt, he failed and was very depressed. He walked up to his father and in his depression shared the sense of unfairness he felt after all his efforts came to naught. He asked "Father, why is it that it is always me who misses out? Why is it that my brothers and sisters have it so easy with school? Why do they have it so easy with the best jobs? Why is it that they are so fair, charming and smart, while I am not? Why is this whole world going against me?" His father replied, " It is not that you are not fair, charming or smart. You, my son, are different. You are unique. You are Krishna!!". His father celebrated differences and taught my friend these values too. This shook my friend out of his self-pity and gave him courage to face the world. Today, he is a top honcho in a well respected corporate and doing very well for himself.

He learnt one thing from that evening with his father. Celebrate differences. Play to your strengths and bide your time. Good things happen if you will only let it. Good things happen if you believe in yourself and in the difference you make. And all this without falling into a trap, without ever falling into a never-ending cycle of self-pity. Thank you my friend for sharing this lesson.

Burning the midnight oil

Do you remember the days in college or rather the night outs in college just before that project submission or during the run up to the semester exams? Do you remember the sales days, burning midnight oil, pulling together that RFP (Request for proposal) response due for submission the next morning? Do you remember those system implementation days when one stayed awake all night to ensure the data conversion and other implementation steps were completed on time? I had another such experience in office last week and it sent me down memory lane. It reminded me of the numerous crunch situations when I had to do a straight 24 hour shift. Working the 24 hour shift once a while does give you an adrenalin rush. However much I'd wish, my office is no "Star trek" and I ain't no "Capt. Kirk". But it does give you a quaint sense of adventure. Especially now, it is a good antidote for mid-life crisis.

But then as I reflect on how things have changed, I realize what is different. I did not have to spend the whole night in office this time, if I choose not to. In the early days of my career, I had to stay the night because I was doing the work. The difference this time is that the real work is being done by my team. Technically, I did not need to stay the night. In fact, there is a good chance that my staying in office would be a distraction for the team. There is enough to do for the team than manage an overzealous boss. But, when I evaluated whether I should stay on or go home, I was reminded of the multiple times early on in my career that I stayed up. I remember we cherished it when the boss stayed up with us and encouraged us and participated in the ritual with us. I recollect we were bitter when the boss didn't stay with us ever, would always delegate and leave irrespective of how long the team worked. We always respect folks who are part of the team, irrespective of the role one plays, and even if he or she is the boss.

This made the decision easy. I was part of the team, I should stay with the team till the work is done. I had a choice, and I think I chose right because the team always comes first.

I missed my flight because....

Have you noticed how we tend to blame everything around but us when something goes wrong? A group of managers were meeting at an offsite location and we were supposed to reach there at 11 am. As we walked in, there were two charts put up...one that said "I am late because" and the other said "I am on time because". Every one who walked in was to choose the right chart and update the reasons. Invariably, what came out was that the people who reached on time attributed it to themselves, their alarm clock, their sense of punctuality and their skills of maneuvering the traffic. The people who were late attributed it to the weather, the traffic, the tractor that was left unattended in the middle of the road and so on. The trend was clear. I am on time because of me and I am late because of others!! We agreed that we should take more ownership for our actions and stop blaming the environment...take charge.

Easier said than done. My last visit to the capital city was a quick affair. The city is hit by rains. The city is getting ready to host a big games event. And the traffic snakes out like a never-ending anaconda. I had a long journey getting from the airport to office and should have expected that going back too. However, I managed to miss my return flight. The reason - well, the traffic of course :-) . A normal 30 minute ride to the airport took me over 2 hours!! I was fuming at the traffic, but I should have planned for that. I was fuming at the car driver, for not showing a sense of urgency and getting me through the by-lanes. But, that would not have been much help in any case. I was fuming at the airline staff for not making that small concession, I was just five minutes late. But, they do have guidelines to follow. I was fuming at myself for letting this happen!!

Well, now that it had happened, I did the only other thing possible - buy a ticket on the next flight and try and get home for the night. The existing ticket was non-refundable. As the drama died down, I thought about the incident again and realized that while I missed the flight, I had some reasons to celebrate.
1) I missed my flight, but I had a credit card and enough empowerment in my organization to swipe it for a new ticket. I did not have a resource deficit.
2) My boss did not make a hue and cry, he knew without me having to explain that I had made my genuine effort to be on time. I did not have a trust deficit.
3) My new flight would get me home close to midnight. My wife stayed up late for me and opened the door with a smile. I did not have a love deficit.
4) My daughter asked me with a lot of indignation " but, father, how did you, you of all people, miss the flight?". I saw that she understood the value of being on time, saw me as someone who modeled these behaviors for her and her younger sister, she was surprised by my miss. Well on this one, I am pushing it and being optimistic. But, I guess, I did not have a value deficit.

I have so much to be grateful for. I wish that I had reacted better when I was stuck in the traffic, when I missed the flight. I wish I could have seen the positives and not lost my head, even if it was for that short span of time. And, finally, I don't say it enough, but, thanks to everyone who makes me see the positives every day!!!

What you see is not always what you get!!

I watched this really thought provoking advertisement...the product is Tata Sumo Grande MK II.  Certainly not a product that resonates with me. Not one that I follow, but the advertisement really made me think. Have a look at this.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luLQl0oDJD4 . We measure folks by what we see. We often interpret people, situations and character based on the external signs. Our profiling of people and situations based on external characteristics can go wrong. Appearances can be deceptive. First impressions are not always right. What you see is not always what you get!!

While this is the generation of the one hour interviews and instant decisioning, it certainly has its perils.  I heard a story this weekend of how the first impression can go wrong, can go horribly wrong. One of our family friends had advertised in the local newspaper for a chauffeur. Some aspirants turned up and they chose the most polished and respectable looking gentleman to drive their car for them. This person provided them with credible references and even gave them a name and number of a reference check. Impressed with what he had presented them, this gentleman was employed in their service and started his chauffeur duties in the right earnest.

Two days into the job, the family friend had to leave town and the chauffeur dropped him off at the airport. The family friend's wife had gone to the airport with them and then had to stop some place for shopping. The chauffeur mentioned that he would park elsewhere as the nearest parking lot was crowded. He provided his mobile number to call on once she completed her shopping. On completion of shopping, while trying to reach the chauffeur, the mobile phone was unreachable. After a couple of hours, realization dawned that the chauffeur was probably missing. Gone missing with the car!!

On contacting the police and sharing details of the chauffeur, our family friends had the biggest shock of all. The so-called chauffeur was actually a car thief. The police mentioned that he must be miles away from the city and it was going to take a while if at all to trace him or the car. Worse still, he was a "well known" car thief and just out of jail a week earlier!! Now, before you start wondering about the reference he provided. Well, our family friends were quite taken in by the chauffeur that they had not called on the reference. If they had checked with the reference, they would have known earlier. The reference provided was the chief warden of the jail-house he had just been released from!!

I remind myself....don't be taken in by appearances. You can be fooled by first impressions. This story illustrates that. The Sumo advertisement says the same thing but stresses on the positives. Remember - what you see is not always what you get......external characteristics are just one thing, look for the vibrations, tune into the inner sonar!!

Learning to build birdhouses

This week my team met to review our progress through the first half of the year. We decided as a team to do a community giving exercise together after our meeting. I have always taken the easier way out when it comes to a community service event, donate money. Time seems to be at a premium and I have been very stingy with that.

This Friday, however, I was happy I made amends. I was happy I made the time. With the rest of my team, we visited a school....a very different school. This school is called "Masti ka Patshaala" which roughly translates to "learning center of fun". This is an after school resource center for under privileged children that teaches them through art, craft, music and dance. This is the only way to keep these children engaged, keep them interested in going to school and away from other negative influences. This is the initiative of an NGO called Search Years (www.searchyears.org) whose objective is to reduce drop-outs from schools. I was surprised to know that only about 20% of students who enroll into government schools in India finish their schooling!!

We reached this school and we had an activity to work with the children. Each of us worked with a group of 3-4 children to build our own terracotta birdhouses. The children knew this very well and took the lead in showing me how to make a birdhouse. There was a very enthusiastic small child called Tilak and he was the leader. He told me the details of how to work with the clay, what the size of the opening should be for the bird to be able to build a nest in the birdhouse, what designs and motifs to carve on the exteriors and so on. There was a quiet boy called Vinod who was busy making dummy bird figures and designs to beautify the birdhouse. He worked very hard at it. The third boy in our group was Krishna, he seemed an accomplished consultant when it came to building the birdhouse. He gave good advice to the rest of us, was resourceful in arranging water and clay as we needed and he did make beautiful flower-like designs on terracotta to provide our birdhouse a good finish. The boys told me that they were good friends. They were all in the same age-group, between 8 and 10 years. They were enthusiastic children and you could see that they carried a passion in life.....a passion and confidence to make something out of life.

It was a truly humbling afternoon learning to build a birdhouse from three children. Their palpable passion and enthusiasm was infectious. The simple joy and gratitude that these children showed asks you to stop and evaluate your priorities. It reminds you to be grateful for everything you have. It nudges you to reflect on whether you are spending enough time doing what gives you happiness. It makes you wonder if you are giving enough back?

Later in the evening as I left for the airport, I realized it is not only the birds that need their birdhouses to be strong, it is also these children......they need their hearts to be strong......their spirit to be strong. Life has been and is tough for these children. These children already know what tough circumstances are, but they have the courage and ambition to overcome the circumstances. They have clearly taken the first step. I pray they have the courage to continue. I pray they have the courage to take the leap, but not stop in mid air. I pray they have the courage to take a fall but not break their spirit. I pray for their success.....and I hope they learn to fly and reach their own beautiful birdhouses!!!

Kings don't ride on horses anymore

One of the big influences in my life is my grandfather. He was born into a royal family in the British Raj days. The family continues the tradition of the oldest living member being revered as the "King"....well, technically. It is but a notional title of course. In my childhood, I had this notion in my mind, that the older you get, the more closer you are to being King. So, with every passing year, I would ask my grandfather - "When will you be King?". My grandfather would chuckle or smile but say nothing.

One day in the new millennium, my grandfather did become "King". He became the oldest member of the family and with muted fanfare was "crowned". I remembered the numerous occasions when I had asked him the question and now it had happened!! I was really excited as I traveled to meet my grandfather. When I met him, I realized that he was still very much the same. For one, he was still my grandfather. His humility was intact. His caring and loving attitude was intact. His fair and honest approach to life remained the same. I never saw him ruffled, not before, not after. His calm sense of purpose shone through. And I realized that what I admired him for were really these things - humility, fairness, compassion and a calm sense of purpose. This is what makes him the "King" and not just some notional title.

I realize now why he chuckled when I asked him the question - "When will you be King?". I realize now more than ever that he always was and will be "King". In my heart, he is my King. Kings don't ride horses anymore, but they shape other's lives. Thank you for showing the way and living by example...you have shaped my life in a big way!! Hope I live up to it and in case, I can't measure up to it, this will always remain my tribute to you!!

The case of the missing shopping cart

Having grown up reading Enid Blyton's Famous Five and Secret Sevens, it is but natural that everything in life is either a mystery or an adventure for me. The latest in my series is the curious case of the missing shopping cart.

I was participating in this nation's favourite pastime - shopping in the big hypermarket in that wonderful mall. This is a monthly ritual for our family. It is one of the things that the family does together......grocery shopping for the month in the big hypermarket in that wonderful mall. It is our big adventure weaving through the maze of vegetables, juices and cereals and then emerging at the other end to swipe the card and leave happily pushing our carts. We embark on this big adventure the first Saturday or Sunday of the month.

This Saturday was no different and everything started off just as it should. We walked in and pulled out the shopping cart that was waiting eagerly for us. The five of us - my wife, our two girls, the shopping cart and I - set off on our adventure navigating the maze. At the end of one hour, we had that smile of satisfaction on our faces of a job well done as we swiped our card to pay for the adventure and head on to our car for the journey back home. That is when disaster struck. As we headed back to the car, I could not resist browsing through the bookstore next door and took my eyes of the shopping cart for a few minutes. So did the rest of the family and the shopping cart was left alone outside the bookshop for those few minutes. As we came back, we realized that someone had pushed off with our beloved shopping cart!! We were left holding someone else's shopping cart which was less full and for us certainly less useful.

All hell broke loose, I was extremely self critical about my role in the episode and how I had been irresponsible and stupid to leave the cart unattended. The rest of the family was consoling me and at the same time wondering if I will have the courage to go through this shopping adventure again to pick up the same things and swipe my card again. I reported the loss of the shopping cart and its valuable ingredients to the hypermarket manager. He was trying hard to be sympathetic but none of his efforts could hide the hidden expression on his face that said to me - "Loser". They promised to call me back if someone returned the cart and its valuable ingredients.

My wife and I discussed the issue...nah, no one was going to return it...they might have a long drive back to return it and would give up because of sheer laziness.....or did some one walk away with our shopping cart on purpose......or is this the latest fraud ring in town.....or that new super cereal and the extra chunky pasta sauce that one rarely finds these days, I am sure no one wants to return that. We had every reason to think that our month's grocery and added essentials needed a complete re-purchasing. And yes, there was only one reason for someone to return the stuff. The only one reason that they were kind and decent people. But hey, in today's world, you don't bet on that too much. It was a one in a million chance?

The next day being Sunday was a lazy start. I had tried hard to forget the missing shopping cart and almost succeeded when our phone rang. It was from the hypermarket and lo, someone had returned our cart. That was big news and a huge relief for us. More importantly, it made me question my pessimism that today's world was devoid of kind and decent folks. The one in a million chance had worked....there are a few good men and women out there....believe, trust, have faith....there is goodness around you....don't give up hope. Every Enid Blyton adventure ends with a victory for the good...so does mine.

And before I close to those decent folks who did the decent thing by returning the missing shopping cart, thank you....you help retain trust and goodness in the world.

My own miracle story

Someone being nice to you is a miracle these days......Someone who is a complete stranger being nice to you is a bigger miracle these days......Someone who is a complete stranger in a foreign land being nice to you is the biggest miracle these days? The "don't trust strangers" refrain that we hear from our very young days in school probably makes it this way. But my story is a miracle because I felt it at that moment given my circumstances....so, let me rewind to the month of May this year when this happened.

Traveling with young kids is a big responsibility. You can't just up and go. You need to plan your day much better when you travel with kids....well, knowing me I would have planned anyway, but kids are a good excuse as any. So, we were in Paris this May and I had planned every day with great degree of "research". Which metro to take, how much distance to cover, which places to see and and in what order of priority, blah blah.....every minute detail or so I thought. www.rapt.info gives you all the info you need. And hey, everything worked to plan and we finished an exciting week in Paris.

This was the day to head back home. The flight out was at around ten in the morning. My "research" had revealed that from where we stayed it would be best if we boarded the train from Stade de France to reach Charles De Gaulle by 8.30 am or so. Well that would be much better than going back into town to board from Gard Du Nord, because I thought that was the longer route. I told my wife how my "research" had helped me find a new route that was much quicker and shorter and was really pleased with myself. But as luck would have it, when we reached Stade De France, the train station was deserted.....the information booth was closed....the ticketman was missing ........ I was forced to go to the ticket vending machine for us to get our tickets to the airport. The ticket vending machine was no rocket science..... I was confident of choosing the right ticket and getting my family safely on the train to the airport. I had used the machine earlier in the week and though I had some difficulty with it accepting my card, I was able to buy tickets with cash. Confidently I stepped up, chose the ticket options and the machine told me that I had to pay Euro 27. I pulled out two notes of Euro 20 each only to realize that the machine accepted coins or card.....no notes, please!! I had just emptied out my coins with the taxi driver...Not enough coins!! So, time to try the card. And as my worst fears came true, the machine refused to recognize the card. Not a person in sight...a deserted train station....not a cab in sight....middle of nowhere...two kids and four suitcases.....that is where my "research" had landed us. I was breaking into a sweat....my usually unflappable wife was getting worried too....that was a sign that I had really screwed up. I had a silent prayer on my lips.

Just as it seemed we were stuck in no man's land, I hear a voice...."Aap India se ho?"....."Are you from India?"....it sounded like Hindi, close to Hindi or was is some version of Hindi? Well, if it wasn't Hindi, I could still understand it. I turned to find a person appear out of nowhere. He had a grey shirt and an almost grey pant....he wore a cap and had a bag slinging across his body. He had South Asian features? I was just relieved to see someone in that place at that time. I explained my predicament, he swiped his card...it worked, bought us tickets...I had 2 notes of Euro 20 and some coins adding up to 5 Euro. I needed to pay him Euro 27, he plucked the Euro 25 out of my hand...said that was fine and rushed into the station. As he was stepping in, he turned back and shouted directions about which platform we should go for the train to the airport. Then, he disappeared into the station. Disappeared into an empty station? The station was now as deserted as it had been when we first reached here.

The good Samaritan who came out of nowhere.....I am not even sure I thanked him well enough, everything was a daze. I still owe him a big thank you...I owe him 2 Euro....but, he showed me that a good human being can be a miracle worker for some one else...This is certainly a miracle story for me and my family....Was it one man's goodness or was it something more? I'll never know, but I'll never forget too. This is my way of remembering my miracle man!! Thank you!!

My Scatterbrained Generation...but, who am I to say!!

I read an article this weekend about the "breaking news" culture in news production and dissemination. About how issues debated fiercely a year ago have no recall value today. Well, is it an issue with the news production company or does this mirror the tastes of the audience? Are we increasingly becoming a scatterbrained generation that is easily distracted?

When was the last time you did something for the first time? This resonates with our generation that loves innovation and newness.....but hey, not everything is accomplished by doing something for the first time...Isn't excellence achieved by doing the same old thing for the hundredth time? But who am I to say.....I am writing this blog because i wanted to do something new?

How many times have we provided feedback to our co-workers or friends that they are not good at multitasking? How can a generation that encourages multitasking as a core competence get back in return concentration and attention? Well, concentrating on that one important thing could get us somewhere instead of doing the hundred that gets you nowhere. But who am i to say..... I should be spending time with my daughters instead of typing this out on my rickety keyboard?

Talking about daughters reminds me.....my daughters want a new Barbie and I wonder what happened to the last toy we bought? It lies forgotten and neglected in the bottom draw. Do we focus more on acquiring new? Do we live in a world that has forgotten the old? Thanks to Apple and Microsoft and everything high tech, man is keen on pushing the boundaries, but is this also leading to a generation that is irritated with the old, that does not remember the old, that does not value the old? But who am I to say....when was the last time I called up my old friends and talked to them?

All the world philosophies talk about the the stillness of the mind, about being in the present, about deep listening. When I look around , I see the opposites. I see a father talking to his daughter...but is also fiddling his blackberry. I see a mother feeding her baby....but is also watching the television. I see everyone doing multiple things. I see every other person feeling neglected. I see emotional breakdown. I see a generation that is fragile. I see a generation that is distracted. I see a generation that fails to concentrate on the one thing that can make it happy.

Breaking news: We are conditioned to be distracted. You will forget you even read this in 10 minutes. You will be on to the next breaking news....move on....my musings are no breaking news in any case.

Games people play

This is the age of physic Paul, the clairvoyant octopus that can predict football matches. I heard somewhere that if one were to place a ten dollar bet on each Paul prediction, by the end of the world cup, one would be richer by close to ten thousand dollars!! This entertaining octopus story apart from being an advertisement for football, brings up questions about life itself - are we just stage actors in a huge preplanned drama and is it possible someone somewhere has a script? Maybe, Paul had a sneak peek into that script? Is that script what we call destiny? Does the script change dynamically depending on what the actors do? Is this a big soap opera on someone's 42 inch plasma TV? Is this a video game on someone's new Play Station....Are you a graphic image in a high resolution environment.....well, maybe ....... maybe not....but it is intriguing to say the least. Do you have the controls for this game or are the buttons being pushed elsewhere? Let me know when you find out....