Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Verses that haunt a lifetime

The big news these days in Indian newspapers is Salman Rushdie and his participation or not in a literary fest in Jaipur. The debate is around freedom of expression. Quoting Rushdie on the cancellation of his address at the literary fest, "In a true democracy, all get to speak, not just the ones making threats". Well said, Mr. Rushdie, but you certainly got your chance to speak through tonnes of books and other literature. The debate is also about sense and sensibilities. And I think in a democracy or otherwise, you don't go about making comments that hurt sensibilities of a large section of people. Not taking sides in an endless debate, but my mind turned away to completely different topic. What would it be to utter a verse that haunts you a lifetime?

Salman Rushdie wrote a book in 1989, the book with verses that hurt sensibilities of a large group of people. Verses that caused angst and anguish to many. Verses that might have been insensitive. I have not read those lines, but have seen the reactions it caused and the anger that followed. Salman Rushdie had to live for years in hiding, his life turned topsy turvy. Did he regret writing those verses? Did he regret the anguish caused? Maybe he did....but when the battle-lines are drawn it is difficult to be sane, it is difficult to remain self-critical. And now 22 years later, time has flown by and when you hope some of the wounds have healed, you see reactions as extreme as before to the verses and the man who uttered them.

The spoken word, the printed word ....can never be taken back. In the middle of an argument, in the heat of the moment, it is so easy to lose control and provoke with your scathing verses and your sharp tongue. And when the moment passes, when you contemplate in silence, you realize that you can't take back what is said. You have to live with it a lifetime. Sometimes in shame. Sometimes in pain. But mostly in denial and in self defense of your point of view. You have to live with verses that haunt a lifetime. Thich Nhat Hanh says " When you say something really unkind, when you do something in retaliation your anger increases. You make the other person suffer, and he will try hard to say or to do something back to get relief from his suffering. That is how conflict escalates. " Well, if we are mindful of what we speak, peace will reign in our hearts. If only we could be more mindful of what we say, and banish the satanic verses that form in our minds. Banish the verses that haunt a lifetime....

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Roadhouse Blues

"Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel" and so it rolls. It is a long journey with many twists and turns. It is a journey where one must find the path and stick to it. I am trapped in transit, meandering to an unknown destination. I wander through night and day. I press on through calm and tempest. I look at the morning rays for new energy to carry on the journey. I look at the shining stars for direction to stay the path on that dark night. I fall asleep, tired and troubled, on my beloved's lap for rejuvenation. I wake up to the laughter of my friends, my fellow travelers on the difficult path. The difficult path made easy by this camaraderie, the journey continues. This interesting journey called life with many stops at the roadhouses. The journey and its roadhouse blues....

"I woke up this morning, I got myself a beer". I don't know my destination and I wander on. I stop at the roadhouse. I get myself a beer. Intoxicated by the sights, sounds and smells of the roadhouse, I think I have reached my destination. I believe this roadhouse is the place to be, until I wake up to the reality. The intoxication wears off, the fleeting joy passes over, disenchantment sets in. I am a traveler, I am a wandering soul, I need to move on. For a while, I thought this roadhouse is where it ends. But, hey, the journey must go on. I am trapped in transit, meandering to an unknown destination. An unknown destination that can thrill your soul. You got to roll, roll, roll.....you gotta thrill my soul, alright. The journey and its roadhouse blues....

"The future is uncertain, and the end is always near". I move from one roadhouse to the next, not knowing what I want or where I am going. From one roadhouse to the next, and each seems more like the previous. It is the the same intoxication, the ephemeral joy and then followed by the same disenchantment. I search for joy more permanent, I search for a destination more real. And one day, Rumi asks "And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself ?" And I wonder, what the real journey is about? Trapped in transit, meandering along halfheartedly..... I cry in anguish. Rumi says " You set out to find God, but then you keep stopping for long periods at mean-spirited roadhouses". Ah! this journey and its roadhouse blues....do you see the light within?