Kiss the badge and make them cry!!

"Romance is dead in football". Fernando Torres, ace footballer said this last month when he made a 50 MM pound transfer from Liverpool football club to Chelsea. And he said " I was not a Liverpool fan. I never kissed the shirt badge. Forget club loyalty, it's all about trophies". Many skeptics will say that Chelsea just bought talent at a ridiculous price. Some will say they made him an offer he could not refuse. Some will say he is chasing his dream. But is that really his dream or is it just what the world forces him to believe is his dream?This is a microcosm of the predicament faced by many folks in the world today. Do you really recognize your dream and stay loyal to it? How do you stay loyal in a materialistic world that eulogizes individual achievement, that celebrates quick wins over gritty long term steadfast loyalty to true goals. How do you ensure you can believe that something is worth fighting for? How do you work to keep that romance alive? And how do you keep it alive not just for yourself, but for others on the team too. Do you kiss the badge and make them cry?

Loyalty to an organization, to a family, to a country or to a cause is fast becoming a scarce commodity. Community living and joint families are forgotten relics of a different generation. Families are fractured by inheritance issues, organizations are held hostage to the whims of a money-minded workforce, and the world is wrecked by power hungry despots. How do you counter these forces of friction to energize a generation to be committed to a cause? How do you counter the tailwinds that are drag on harmony to revolutionize and romanticize commitment? Flirting with temptations of this ephemeral world, one gets sucked into running after fame and fortune, one forgets the true calling. Someone once said, "Even if you win the rat race, you are but a rat". So, find your true calling and build loyalty towards the cause. Look at yourself and ask the question if you are passionate about the cause you are espousing? Is it something you will stick with in the long term or is it just a passing fancy? The one way to be sure of your commitment is to free your mind of all the clutter, be relaxed. Your most natural inclination during this calm uncluttered state of mind is what you want, that is the dream you should chase. Be a romantic!! Make the romance come alive as you chase your dream. Show unflinching commitment and loyalty, this fractured world needs that more than anything else. And once you are sure of your commitment, then wear that badge on your sleeve. Kiss the badge and make them cry!!

Forever in Blue Jeans

This week has been amazing. My small town saw two big concerts with the Foreigner and Bryan Adams playing here. I made the little concession of stepping out of work early both evenings to make it to the show. The effects are just amazing. There is a song on my lips and a zing in my step unlike any other recent week in my life. I heard the notes of the good old days when my world was filled with music, when my television was on MTV 24/ 7, when our friendships were formed by listening to the same bands, when our life was rock and roll. Not a care in the world, just free falling, just comfortably numb....And memories of that feeling flitting through my mind, I looked back at my life. I looked back at the journey so far.....

Those early days filled with music were the uncomplicated carefree days. Those were the days before a career beckoned. But soon enough, my career started and well, so did the conditioning. I remember my first performance appraisal. My one over manager told me that I had a problem. The problem was that I was a nice guy.  Why should that be a problem? The problem is that nice guys finish last and if I had to be on my super achiever boss's team, I could NOT be nice. I was making a career and I could not disregard that advice. Career aspirations whispered into my heart........you don't have to be nice, go for it and make something out of it. And so the conditioning progressed .....the conditioning to become a shark in a suit. The decisive, hard nosed executive who is so focussed on the results that the niceties start dropping away. I stop calling friends, I am always busy, I hardly listen to my favorite bands, I start thinking the world revolves around me and my success....

And then, the balance tilts unbearably and life whispers back ..... There is more than just your career and your success. Life cries out for balance. Life cries out in loneliness. It makes you question the relevance of all that you have been doing in these past years. You search for meaning and you discover what you have heard often enough but disregarded too many times. You realize that life is a journey where you stop enough times to enjoy the sights, smell the flowers and listen to the music. It is not what you have turned it into, it is not the mad rush to some ever changing destination. That is when you think about the parts of the journey that you missed. The parts of the journey you forgot to enjoy because you were so busy turning into that shark in a suit. You think about the songs you didn't hear because there was the next meeting to attend, the next goal to achieve....

And I wonder what have I become? And I wonder why? And then I tread back carefully. I start the journey back to fun and friends. I start hearing the notes more clearly, I start enjoying the music loudly, I begin enjoying the moment. The pressure is off. I can hear Neil Diamond clearly now. He is singing "Forever in Blue Jeans". I nod in appreciation. I know that is all I want. I know that is what matters.

Money talks
But it don't sing and dance and it don't walk
And long as I can have you here with me
I'd much rather be
Forever in blue jeans.

Show her some respect !!

The best part about flying through Heathrow airport is the opportunity it presents you to read the British newspapers. I absolutely love it. On my last trip a week ago, I used the time to devour the newspapers, page by page. The one big news debate in all the papers was about the "Sian Massey" incident. For the uninitiated, and that you will be if you don't follow English soccer, Sian Massey is an assistant referee in the English premier league. She is another one of those women to break the gender barrier and to gain a foothold in what has traditionally been a "men only" profession. But, the debate concerned how two Sky Sports commentators said something inappropriate about her, about women referees. The two commentators in question were fired from their jobs for this indiscretion. They learnt quite late that it was time to show her some respect.

That brings me to a topic that I have been thinking about for a while. Do we show enough respect to women in the workplace, in society? I don't think so. While much progress has been made, there is still the fear that single women have in a big city. Sometime back, I heard a woman friend remark that it was not safe to travel alone in the overnight train. I have sometimes, heard women colleagues murmur about harassment by some uncouth men in office or otherwise. And harassment is not always physical, it is the equally damaging emotional one. Why do some men think they can get away with it? Is it social conditioning? Maybe, but most times, it is the feeling of power, absolute power that one can get away with anything. Now, it is high time that changed in society. Being the father of growing daughters, I pray this world changes its attitude to women.

You don't have to look far back in history to see, that the society that respects women is always the one that prospers. You don't have to search too much in religion, to understand the importance of women, to understand the sacred feminine. In the Hindu tradition, it is not coincidence that intellectual, material and emotional well-being is governed by Goddesses, by the sacred feminine. Saraswati, Lakshmi and Durga are symbolic, the message is much deeper. I personally grew up in a matriarchal society, my surname comes from my mother. I grew up in a world that sees balance in society through these norms, and I do hope this world sees that balance too.

It is time to throw out those testosterone induced views of the world to usher in the balance. Don't we realize that true balance in society can only be achieved by gender equality?  When I came back from my trip this weekend, it was maybe again just coincidence that I found my elder daughter was preparing for her public speaking competition on gender equality. She finishes off her speech on equality in opportunity saying "So, boys, it is time to show us some respect. And girls, it is time to capture the world, in true equal spirit of competition". Well, I couldn't agree more. Show her some respect!!

Background: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/competitions/premier-league/8277518/Sky-Sports-presenters-Andy-Gray-and-Richard-Keys-say-sorry-after-mocking-lineswoman-during-Liverpool-victory.html